Saturday, June 30, 2012

Poem: Losing sleep

I can't sleep.
Don't pretend you don't know why.
If you can sleep I hate you even more.
I'm tired, but when I close my eyes I see your eyes.
Not your whole face, just your eyes.
That was the first time I saw you cry.
It will probably be the last.
Hell, it will probably be the last time I see you at all.
I can't sleep.
You would tell me I'm being stupid but stay up and sing me french songs until I fell asleep.
I can't sleep.
You'll probably never even talk to me again, let alone sing me to sleep.
I miss you.
I can't sleep because I miss just knowing I could call you at three in the morning and you would talk to me for hours until I hung up.
I can't sleep.
If I called you at three am now it would be awkward for both of us.
And your new girlfriend.
Does she know?
Does she really know anything about you?
I can't sleep.
And I know you well enough to know that you can't either.
So, that's why I'm calling you at three am.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Peom: Alone

Alone.
Surrounded by people but for all intents and purposes
Alone.
A thousand voices fill the air but it might as well be dead quiet.
Alone.
A hundred eyes look my way but none of them see me.
Alone.
Tens of people bump into me but they don't spare a second glance.
Alone.
A few notice me but don't find anything interesting.
Alone.
A thousand thoughts and opinions but only one matters. A hundred eyes but only two really see me.
Several who run into me but only one who walks and stops.
A few who notice me but only one who actually notices me.
A billion people.
Alone.
Then him.
Not so alone.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Poem: I can't

Whatever this is
Whatever we have
Whatever we had
It can't continue
I can't continue
Whatever you do to not have feelings
Whatever I do to just slightly control them
Whatever I could do
I can't anymore
I can't be as cold as you
Whatever you once were to me
Whatever I once was to you
Whatever we were together
I can't be that girl
I can't see you as that boy
Whatever would save this
Whatever you suggest
Whatever we both know will work
I can't do this anymore
I can't do any of this anymore
I can't fight for you
When I shouldn't have to
I can't be brave enough to work hard for this
I can't be weak enough to need this
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
But if I could
I would.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Poem: The last day

It's a little odd, to be leaving so soon
I'd lie and say I'm sad, but honestly I'm over the moon
Somethings I'll miss, just a tiny lil bit
But most of what's here is all just sh**
I hate you, you, and you
Oh, yes, I hate you too
Leaving here will be such a relief
This place sucks, is my firm belief
I'll take a deep breath, focus on the good
Should I say I love this place? I would if I could
I hate this school with a fury!
Even if my memories are a bit blurry
So, I don't remember most of your names
And no I didn't play many games
I wasn't a part of the teasing and taunts
I didn't show off or at all flaunt
and I'm glad it's done.
Cause over all, I've won.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Poem: Cross my heart

So, this poem is inspired by the song Cross my heart by Marianas Trench.


Cross my heart and hope to die
I honestly don't tell that many lies
Cross my heart and hope to die
Yeah, sure of course I can look you in the eye
Cross my heart and hope to die
No, this is not my goodbye
Cross my heart and hope to die
There is no way I like that guy
Cross my heart and hope to die
With all of my lies, just please don't pry
Cross my heart and hope to die
At first I act just a little bit too shy
Cross my heart and hope to die
In the end I'm just a little bit too sly
Cross my heart and hope to die
Whatever happens all that matters is I try
Cross my heart and hope to die
Don't just stand there and keep asking why
Cross my heart and hope to die
No matter the rule I will always defy
Cross my heart and hope to die
Yes, I'll totally reply
Cross my heart and hope to die
Which ones are true and which ones are lies?

Poem: Look a little closer

Look a little closer
Listen a little better
There's so much that could be seen
You'd see who I really am
You'd hear when I cry
Look a little closer
Listen a little better
You'd see that I'm not okay
You'd hear me when I say it
Look even a little
Listen for once
I'm practically dying
I'm practically screaming
You don't see it
You don't hear it
And then silence.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Poem: Short of perfect

His eyes are blue.
Almost perfect, but not really.
His hair is dark brown.
Almsot perfect, but not exactly.
His hair is always perfect and flat.
Almost perfect, but not quite.
His smile is perfect and straight.
Almost perfect, but not truly.
His jokes are always perfect.
Almost perfect, but not funny.
His nickname for me is perfect.
Almost perfect, but not right.
What's perfect?
Brown eyes.
Black hair.
Permanent bed head.
A smirk, not a smile.
Cheesy jokes that have bad timing.
And calling me Clutz.
Thats perfect.
My life doesn't have to be perfect, I don't have to be perfect, the world doesn't have to be perfect.
But I always had one thing that was perfect.
Why did I throw away perfection?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Poem: Lost

I'm not lost
I just don't know where I'm going
What's on my path isn't quite showing
Whether I hit the moon or bump elbows with a star
Wherever I go, I know I'll go far
My path keeps changing, shifting in front of me
The path is blocked, the door is locked
But I'll always find the key
If you want a happy ending it depends on where you stop your story
If you end it wonderfully or if you end it poorly
There's a beginning and an end
There's a foe and a friend
Go where you may, see what you please
You'll be led there by yourlegs and by your knees
When a story stops a new one starts
We all have to find and play our parts
Drop a heart, break a name
Just try and be the winner of the game.

Poem: Love me, Hate me, Stop me

I don't care what feelings are between us because I just need some feelings.
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
I don't care if you love me because I'm too numb to return it
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
I don't care if you hate me because I hate myself
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
I don't care if you stop me because it's too little too late
If you even get here I'll be long gone already at this rate
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
It doesn't matter which one because you can't change the past
No matter what I did I couldn't make the lie last
Decieving you flew by all too fast
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
At least don't forget me because I can't stand that
Just choose one of those three no matter what game you're playing at
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
I don't care if you stop me because I'm simply out of time
The clock reaches midnight and there goes the chime
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
I don't care if you hate me because I don't blame you if you do
If you don't hate me you should really get a clue
Love me
Hate me
Stop me
I don't care if you love me because you won't for very long
Not matter what you say your heart isn't very strong
Love me
Hate me
Stop me

Monday, June 4, 2012

Poem: Happy Ending

Not every ever after is happy.
No ending is the same.
A fantasy can't be real.
It was all just a game.
This started once upon a time, but you controlled the ending.
I'm not a princess anymore than you're a prince.
All that happened cannot be fixed by any amount of mending.
This story sucks, if I do say so myself.
This book should just stay on the shelf.
Not every ever after is happy.
They don't all end in smiles.
Sometimes these things just don't last the miles.
So I won't end this that way.
Riding off into the sunset won't end this day.
So, it won't end resolved.
There isn't a clear villain.
No hero was involved.
So, it isn't a happy ending, just to make that clear.
This is goodbye, it ends with no cheer.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Poem: Not according to plan

This is not supposed to happen.
I was supposed to be forgotten.
I was supposed to be lost amongst a sea of faces.
Not always on his mind.
Not a constant memory.
This is not supposed to be happening.
I was supposed to be nearly invisible.
I was supposed to not be missed.
Not seen by him every day.
Not creating a gaping hole when I left.
This is not supposed to happen
I was supposed to leave without a second thought.
I was supposed to miss no one and have no one miss me.
Not think about him and pause.
Not be interrupted by him and stopped.
This is not supposed to be happening.
He's not supposed to care.